Why do you age slower when you get older?
Because according to relativity theory time moves slower in proximity to a gravity well…
Category Archives: Humor
Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.
Horse meat found in sausages
Horse meat found in sausages:
Company representative comments, “this is a wurst case scenario!”
The problem…
The problem isn’t that I’m thinking, the problem is what I’m thinking about…
BoRG 13 billion light years away: Invasion possibly canceled!
The BoRG are 13 billion light years away! Hope is not lost!
I found this information while I was browsing the astronomy pages on Wikipedia (more common than my geek factor can really tolerate, but still) and I came across a list (see below) of the most distant astronomical objects (notice object 8 – with a red frame?).
As far as I can tell from the list, the “BoRG-58” (shown with red frame) is somewhere between 13 and 13.025 Gly away (that’s billions of light years). I’ve understood the “z” stands for red shift, however, part from that, I’m just guessing here.
Anyhow, we need not fear! There are no direct risk of getting across the BoRG in our lifetime… assimilation has been cancelled… the BoRG are so far away it’s silly… I mean travelling at warp 9.9 it would take them 13.4 million years to get here… But since they travel at transwarp speeds I can only assume they’d be here far sooner… (Frantic Googling did not yield a good calculation for transwarp speeds… I’m guessing the federation doesn’t know them – transwarp speeds that is – and I’d have to guess… further that it would have to be BoRG transwarp speeds as well… any transwarp speed would not do here!)
Ah well… life is full of uncertainty… Perhaps we’ll be assimilated in time for the next ice age?
But wait… BoRG-58?! Where the hell are the other 57 BoRGs? Shit! DAmn! CraP!
Update from my doctor:
- They are called “BORG” not “BoRG”
- They do not exist
- You always get like this when you live life with your imagination dialled all the way up to “too vivid to handle”!
- Eat your meds and call me in the morning…
Update 2:
Mom, this is a joke! Calm down!
I know the BORG is not really for real… At least I think they’re not really for real… did anyone came across any BORG? I may have… I especially remember one girlfriend…
OK, never mind that…
Behind every success
There is at least one failed plan behind every success.
The glass cannot be refilled until it’s empty
I’m not so sure about the glass half empty / glass half full discussion, but I do know that the glass has to be emptied before it can be refilled…
Another, more important question isn’t if the glass is full, empty or half full/empty, but what it contains…
What woman has the most gorgeous curves?
Question: What woman has the most gorgeous curves?
Answer: Vectoria… um… Bezier, of course…
Game of Fuckin’ Thrones!
Some of the more engaged fans have made a pretty good interpretation of the Game of Thrones intro/theme…
It made me laugh!
On a more serious note… hurry enjoying this clip… it will most likely be removed by the people owning the Game of Thrones trademark (yeah, the ones that doesn’t understand the modern media culture and doesn’t appreciate how much of a boost these kind of “pranks” are to their trademark…)
Why only some men have guns in their pants…
Why doesn’t all men wear a gun tucked in the waist of the trousers?
Because not all men have room for a gun down there š
Man of Vision…
If you interpret things really literally there’s a lot of fun word jokes to be found. Here’s one:
You don’t have to be a man of vision to be successful in the radio broadcasting industry… but you do have to have a good ear for business.
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Talkwards 