This bottle of red rum is a rellik. It’s a bouquet to die for!
As a submariner I’m always subconscious at work… however, I also get a lot of help from my unconscious.
I tried to learn the piano but had to quit since I kept going off on a tangent…
“Why the hell did you shoot a flare into the gas tank?”
“I had a flare for the dramatic…”
Perfect Pasta: Deus ex Macaroni…
Veganism: No harm, no fowl.
“Hey, what happened? Did you fall into the lake?”
“I hate my parents…”
“Make a wish my boyfriend said, and when I did he threw me into a well…”
“That’s horrible! But how is it your parent’s fault…?”
“I know I shouldn’t date idiots, but still… if they hadn’t named me Penny…”
Yesterday my girlfriend and I were spooning, but her brother’s girlfriend kinda forked in. Which unfortunately made her brother come at us with a knife. I decided my plate was full, and to not stir the pot anymore I excused myself…
“Where did the ax murderer go?”
“He went out to do some chopping…”
“The currency of my fantasy world is the Elf Dollar. It can be divided into Elf Cents…”
“Elf scent? Who’d pay to sniff an elf?”