All posts by erk

I love writing, computers, puns... and can sometimes be spiritual, or mindful.

New Crisis Management Protocol

I’ve decided to implement a new crisis management protocol for when hilariously undermanned and epically underdocumented projects collide with predictably impossible problems:

Customer: …!
Customer: …?!
Me: We’re unable.
Customer: …!?
Customer: …!?!
Customer: …!?!?!
Me: Can’t do that.
Customer: …!!
Customer: …!!?!
Customer: …!!!!!
Customer: …!!?!!!?!!!
Customer: …!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: We’ll be in the Hudson.

 

Post-Truth and Death

Post-Truther: Death sucks! It should be banned!

Second Post-Truther: When the hell is the politicians going to get their shit together and ban death? I mean, seriously?!

Third Post-Truther: I didn’t know politicians could ban death! Wow!

Fouth Post-Truther: WTF?! You can ban death and no one’s doing it? What the fuck is wrong with you politicians!?!

Fifth Post-Truther: You will see my revenge comes next election!