“Hey! How about you dial that back to zero percent?”
“The fuck’s that supposed to mean?”
“It’s Nerd for shut the fuck up!”
“Who’s gonna make me? You and what army?”
“I won’t make you do anything… I may, however, make your email app attach a random dick-pic with every outgoing email…”
In the script workshop:
A: We need to write Bob’s character out of the show.
B: Hey! I have a cool idea! Let’s give him true love and kill him.
A: Wow! I’ve never seen it done like that before!
C: Right, one So Happy Together* coming up…
*And if it doesn’t show; I hate that one… whenever I see characters finding love I’m thinking, ok, one of them is going to die… Whenever they don’t die I’m elated that someone was thinking an original thought…
“What did the polygraph said?”
“Either he’s lying, or he had to fart a lot.”
“Yeah… The polygraph can tell us if they need to fart or if they are lying, but we haven’t figured out yet how to distinguish between the two…”
“Either way, he’s a disgusting person. Let’s lock him up.”