I pressed ctrl-shit-x in Excel and then everything turned to crap…
Everyone is Equal
A: Everyone is equal.
B: I know that.
A: I mean EVERYONE is equal.
B: Oh… you mean those guys over there as well? Ah… I guess they are as equal over there as we are over here… but I don’t see any reason for them to come over here and be equal.
I expect that expectation to be wrong…
Checksum validation failed, expected <html> but is aa163ea9976e95abbdfd985fd6fd239297c14ff3 from sonatype-nexus-snapshots for https://oss.sonatype.org/content/repositories/snapshots/com/google/guava/guava-parent/23.0-android-SNAPSHOT/maven-metadata.xml
Yeah, Maven, if you expect “<html>” as a checksum… I bet something very special is going on…
Bizarre Like Dogs Walking on Two Legs
A: It’s bizarre… Like a dog walking on two legs…
B: Ok?
A: …wearing a tuxedo and a monocle.
B: Yeah, that’s bizarre… tuxedo and monocle…
Start with the Character Waking Up in the Morning
Start your story with the character waking up in the morning. Keep writing until something interesting happens. Then go back and remove everything before that point and keep writing.
Never allow any of your stories to escape the last round of editing with characters waking up in the morning. It’s a worn and tired cliché and it’s been done to death already!
My Neighbor is an Avenger… I think…
I think an Avenger moved into my house.
Here’s what the hinges on the door looked like after he tried to open it. Now it won’t close properly:
And he tried to do laundry, but that caused even worse problems:
The hinges on the hatch are broken clean off. (Some kind of aversion to hinges?!)
It isn’t easy when you’re super strong… I guess…
Key events of the 21st century – Homework quiz
Future POV on the 21st century:
John’s mom: name two key events of the 21st century?
John: oh, the 21st… was that when they invented telepathy or teleportation? I always confuse those two…
Mom: neither… population reached its peak and fossil fuels were depleted.
John: fossils?
Mom: fuels…
John: what does fossil mean?
Mom: I think, like dinosaurs…?
John: they had dinosaurs in the 21st century?
Mom: I think it was a bit earlier…
John: like the 20th?
Mom: something like that…
Christler
“Oh Lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz?”
“Can you get by with a Christler?”
“Can you get by with a Christler?”
Panic as Political Motivation
I am amazed watching right-wing extremists solving political problems.
It seems to me, it all starts with some kind of invented panic.
(I call it the “Ragnarök-on-Thursday-mentality… you know, next week: race wars and mass rapes… get a gun, this week!)
Once the perception that “the house is burning down” has taken root, any and all measures seem logical and legitimate.
After all, we’re in a panic. Catastrophe has struck. It’s the end of the world as we know it!
And the world has been ending this way at least since the 30ies…
I wonder if there’s a pill for that. A diagnose? A letter combination?
Goat prices
“You Sir, have goat prices!”
“What?”
“Well, you can’t tell me they’re sheep…”
“What?”
“Well, you can’t tell me they’re sheep…”
