When things started to spin out of control we had to concede it was probably fool o’clock in the morning and time to call it a day.
Challenge
“I’m sorry. I can’t be your boyfriend. I’m rude and I’m a challenge to anyone, and you’re already challenged enough…”
Manipulation
I manipulate people, but I’m not an evil person… I do it for their own good…
Snotweiler
My dog has a cold: Snotweiler…
Shot the Hell Up
“Want some whine with that?”
“Thank’s I’ll manage with a Shot the Hell Up.”
“Thank’s I’ll manage with a Shot the Hell Up.”
They don’t know everything about me
Whenever I get an advertisement for something I’ll never buy, I celebrate that they don’t know everything about me!
New Crisis Management Protocol
I’ve decided to implement a new crisis management protocol for when hilariously undermanned and epically underdocumented projects collide with predictably impossible problems:
Customer: …!
Customer: …?!
Me: We’re unable.
Customer: …!?
Customer: …!?!
Customer: …!?!?!
Me: Can’t do that.
Customer: …!!
Customer: …!!?!
Customer: …!!!!!
Customer: …!!?!!!?!!!
Customer: …!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: We’ll be in the Hudson.
Know What You’re Talking About
It’s easy to seem smart if you only speak when you know what you’re talking about…
Unpleasant truths
I might need to rethink my blogging strategy…We’re talking Fur
“We’re talking fur here!”
“No, you’re not.”
“Of course we are, feel how soft it is!”
“You’re talking English. Fur is a Nilo-Saharan language spoken by the Fur of Darfur in Western Sudan.”
“You’re suffering from Wikipedia…”
