“If any person can show just cause as to why these two may not be joined together let them speak now or forever hold their breath…”
“Ahem. I feel I have to speak… out of self-preservation…”
Preaching to a dead horse
I may be preaching to a dead horse but…
Sweet Baby Jesus
“Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus!”
“You’re wrong… human flesh does not taste sweet at all… it’s more of a papery texture with a definite undertone of red wine…”
When pressing enter, move the selection… upwards?!
At first, I thought this was a sign of a Microsoft programmer with too much time on their hands, but then I realized that of course, in Australia, where they are upside down, they need the selection to move upwards when pressing enter!
And left/right is for places where everything is politicized… “No communist/fascist selections in my home!”
Hard drive blast radius
I just installed a new hard drive in my NAS. It makes sounds that suggest I should stay clear of the blast radius when it breaks down…
Header image: By © Raimond Spekking / CC BY-SA 4.0, Link
The children will NOT save the world
Grownups are always talking about how the children will save the world. The only reason children don’t question that they are pinning their hopes on someone that isn’t even allowed to vote is likely because they are children… and possibly one or two among them are shrewd enough to realize that if they just nod in agreement, once they grow up they can pull the same fast one with their own children and then live their lives as they see fit with no regards to the future…
Time flies
What time is it right now? Half-past…
FUCK!
Time flies will eat your life… alive… and to death… Horrendous creatures!
Mutually Assisted Suicide
The world’s nuclear powers keep each other in check by something called mutually assisted suicide…
You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs
Robespierre might have been the first to claim, “Omelets are not made without breaking eggs.” Margaret Thatcher made her omelets by breaking balls. Hermann Göring was also making omelets in Nazi Germany. And Walter Duranty felt Stalin was making omelets when killing millions in Ukraine.
If you didn’t know better you’d think all these people with their broken eggs couldn’t tell the difference between omelets, genocide, terror, and oppression…
Omelets around the world threaten to sue!
Header image by Stripey the crab – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link
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