Hey barkeep! Can I have a Gin & Catatonic, please?
Microsoft Usability Digging Bar
When working with Microsoft Software (I’ve been at it for over ten years) you get the feeling their usability statement goes something like this:
Even users with a digging bar thrust through their heads should be able to use our software… which, incidentally is also what it feels like to use our software, so we feel we kind of killed two flies with the same digging bar… hehe…
Been pissed…
A: I’ve been pissed with you for several months! Why haven’t you done something?
B: I didn’t know you’ve been pissed with me for several months… why haven’t you said something?
A: …
B: …
Riddle: Burning Pasta
A kettle with spaghetti is standing on top of a stove.The spaghetti are burning at the top end.
Assuming everyone in this kitchen has behaved normally, as far as they can determine. What is the logical explanation for this?
Update: So, after staring at the silent audience for 48 hours, I blink… The wrong hotplate has been turned on, the one the pasta is leaning over when standing in the pot. After enough time the heat makes the pasta burn. In other words, don’t leave the kitchen while cooking pasta. In fact, don’t leave the kitchen while cooking. Period!
Super-suspension of Disbelief
Clark Kent: Listen up, everybody! I have a very important announcement… I’m Superman!
Everybody: Yeah… did you really think those glasses would fool anyone?
Dry and Mighty
He mixed the best Martini, and he was all dry and mighty about it too…
Efficiency
“That seems inefficient…”
“Not if you’re paid by the hour…”
“Not if you’re paid by the hour…”
Why?
Science:
– Why X?
– Interesting question? Why do you think X?
– No clue…
– Let’s figure it out… how about if we added Y?
– I added Y once, it didn’t go so well.
– Let’s add Y anyway and see if that is a pattern.
– Your funeral… but sure, let’s wear protective gowns and keep a safe distance and I’m game…
Religion:
– Why X?
– Because God said so!
Beet by Beet
A beet-by-beet recipe for Borscht…
In the May King
– It’s in the making.
– Then make him spit it out.
– Huh?!
