“Oh, that was the singer? I thought it was some creep standing behind me screaming obscenities…”
Why we’ll never see 100% realistic 3D sound on concerts…
“I know! I tried to install a TNT. Now I’ve realized it’s spelled AT&T…”
“My parents are both musicians. You could say I’m a soul survivor…”
– I find this anti-doping nonsense ridiculous!
– I mean even the earth has steroids!
– The earth?
– Yeah… A-steroids!
– You’re not supposed to lose weight because you’re ugly, but because it’s healthy.
– Well, fuck you too!
How to teach someone to swim: Throw them in at the deep end.
Whoever came up with that idea has either never tried to learn to swim or swims like a dog…
On the interview:
Interviewer: Explain recursive programming to me like I’m a five-year-old.
Interviewee: Right… Do you know where your mommy and daddy are?
“I’ve taught immigration law literally to 3-year-olds and 4-year-olds. It takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of patience. They get it. It’s not the most efficient, but it can be done.”
Judge Jack Weil
Maybe toddlers in the US are different from the rest of the world?
Update: On the other hand, those toddlers expected to learn US immigration law aren’t American toddlers…
Update 2: Interesting how it’s economically feasible to have a judge spend, presumably hours, teaching a toddler immigration law… likely because it’s much cheaper than giving the kid proper representation and risk having it immigrate…