“It’s like finding a needle in a stack of needles…”
“You do realize that’s only hard if you’re looking for a specific needle and not just any old needle, right?”
“Eh… right…”
Header image: Link
Category Archives: Humor
Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.
Zero-sum game
He lived his life as if it were a zero-sum game, and at his funeral, everybody agreed his life’s contribution was zero-sum.
Rapper Response Team
The bad guys are singing a cappella. Send in the rapper response team!
Polystyrene
– The polygraph isn’t good enough. We’re going to use the polystyrene instead. We’re going to steerene things up around here…
– What does that mean?
– We put them in a circle, spin the polystyrene, and it will tell us who did it…
Burning Brain
“Your brain is on fire.”
“How could you ever know?”
“From what comes out of it… for sure…”
The Fermi Paradox Answered
You’re really asking where the aliens are? Have you not seen how humans treat aliens? They for sure have…
Swedish Apple Spell
How Swedish spell checking in Apple Spell apparently was created:
Apple: Give us a list of correctly spelled Swedish words.
Swedish language professor: What do you need it for?
Apple: We’re doing spell checking.
Professor: Oh, you can’t do it like that.
Apple: We’re Apple! We can do anything!
Professor (making a joke list): Here, make spell checking with this.
Apple Spell just marked “spådan” (a misspelled “sådan”) a correct word in Swedish.
I mean. Sure, it is a correct Swedish word (a compound of “spå”—fortune-telling, and “dan”—the day… so, “the fortune-telling day”).
I tried to Google it, but was unable. It defaulted to “spådam” (fortune-teller) which ever way I tried to make it not. (Coincidentally, this is also a compound of “spå” and “dam”—lady… Swedish do compounds galore!)
What pisses me off most is that this ungoogleable compound exists in this shit spell checking but not some very very very common ones, like:
- Lättstörd—easily disturbed (e.g. sleep)
- Maglevtåg—maglev train
- Obäddad—unmade (bed)
- Prästinnorna—the priestesses
- And several thousand other words that are not conlang words I have in my local dictionary (currently at 3536 words… I may be a prolific conlanger… but no, not that prolific)
That’s why I think Apple Spell is the result of a Swedish language professor jokingly showing Apple that, no, you can’t do anything even if you think so.
And no, I know what you think. Why don’t you install a Hunspell dictionary? WHY DON’T YOU TRY TO INSTALL ONE? You’d be one of a handful having tried and failed, and none of those people work at Apple.
Microsoft Word may not be good for much when it comes to fiction writing, but it does do Swedish spell-checking about a million times better than Apple Spell.
Scarier than dead bodies
“Oh God! You scared me.”
“Really? You work with dead bodies all day.”
“So if something moves, it’s likely a dead body.”
“Really? Does that happen often?”
“Did my reaction gave you that impression?”
Stumble and fall
It’s easy to stumble and fall if everything is swept under the rug…
Rumor-based reality perception
“Does he really believe those strange and bizarre things?”
“He has a rumor-based reality perception… so, yeah…”
Talkwards 