When things started to spin out of control we had to concede it was probably fool o’clock in the morning and time to call it a day.
Category Archives: Humor
Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.
Challenge
“I’m sorry. I can’t be your boyfriend. I’m rude and I’m a challenge to anyone, and you’re already challenged enough…”
Manipulation
I manipulate people, but I’m not an evil person… I do it for their own good…
Snotweiler
My dog has a cold: Snotweiler…
Shot the Hell Up
“Want some whine with that?”
“Thank’s I’ll manage with a Shot the Hell Up.”
“Thank’s I’ll manage with a Shot the Hell Up.”
New Crisis Management Protocol
I’ve decided to implement a new crisis management protocol for when hilariously undermanned and epically underdocumented projects collide with predictably impossible problems:
Customer: …!
Customer: …?!
Me: We’re unable.
Customer: …!?
Customer: …!?!
Customer: …!?!?!
Me: Can’t do that.
Customer: …!!
Customer: …!!?!
Customer: …!!!!!
Customer: …!!?!!!?!!!
Customer: …!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: We’ll be in the Hudson.
We’re talking Fur
“We’re talking fur here!”
“No, you’re not.”
“Of course we are, feel how soft it is!”
“You’re talking English. Fur is a Nilo-Saharan language spoken by the Fur of Darfur in Western Sudan.”
“You’re suffering from Wikipedia…”
Post-Truth and Death
Post-Truther: Death sucks! It should be banned!
Second Post-Truther: When the hell is the politicians going to get their shit together and ban death? I mean, seriously?!
Third Post-Truther: I didn’t know politicians could ban death! Wow!
Fouth Post-Truther: WTF?! You can ban death and no one’s doing it? What the fuck is wrong with you politicians!?!
Fifth Post-Truther: You will see my revenge comes next election!
MUDE – Multi-User Disconnected Experience
I’m building a MUDE: Multi-User Disconnected Experience… also known as writing a book…
Inappropriate and Arrogant
A: I’m bored! Tell me a joke.
B: I’d rather not.
A: Why?
B: They say my humor is inappropriate and arrogant.
A: Come on! How bad can it be?
B: Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
A: I’ll risk it!
B: Ok. Isaac Newton was studying relativity theory at the University of Boston.
A: And?
B: And one day he met Albert Einstein who was studying quantum mechanics at the same university…
A: Ok?
B: Yeah. There.
A: What?
B: That’s the joke.
A: I don’t get it…
B: Neither did they!
