We’re writing a book… me and my characters…
Category Archives: Humor
Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.
Is Yoda a Sith Lord?
I bet you’re thinking Yoda is a Sith Lord, right?
Because Obi-Wan Kenobi said so? The same Obi-Wan that trained Anakin Skywalker? The same Anakin Skywalker that turned into Darth Wader?
Just because they have a lightsaber doesn’t make them all-knowing and wise…
Irrational Logic
It is logical… just not in a rational way…
Isolate or Integrate?
There are two major approaches to dealing with continuous exposure to foreign cultures: Either you isolate yourself until that pesky foreign culture tires and go somewhere else or you integrate that culture until one plus one equals another one.
There are many ideas and theories about integration and perhaps very few good clean facts and answers, I actually don’t know…
…but I do know this; you can always ask any North Korean about isolationism…
…if they even understand that’s an issue in their country…
…and if you’re even able to contact them…
…yeah, you probably can’t ask a North Korean…
Mankind is doomed!
Veganism
Veganism: No harm, no fowl.
Incomprehensible, Painful, Harmless
My jokes can be graded on a scale between incomprehensible and painful, with harmless as a forgiving middle point.
Forty-Two
7.5 million years ago.
“Let’s build a giant computer that can give the ultimate answer to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything!”
“Let’s do it!”
One year later.
“We’ve built a giant computer that can give the ultimate answer to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything!”
“Let’s test it!”
“Ok. It’s just a beta so let’s start with something simple like ‘seven times six’.”
One minute later.
“…It’s slow.”
“Yeah, let’s get some lunch…”
One hour later.
“It’s really extremely slow, isn’t it?”
“Let’s wait and see…”
One day later.
“Still computing? Is it even working?”
“Yes!”
“OK. Let me know when you have the answer…”
Today.
“The giant computer that was built to give the ultimate answer to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything has produced an answer!”
“Yay! Let’s hear it!”
“It’s … forty-two.”
“What was the question?”
“It doesn’t seem to have been programmed to remember, but I can only assume it was along the line of ‘What is the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything.’ Don’t you think?”
“And the answer is ‘forty-two…’ fascinating…”
Make a Wish
“Hey, what happened? Did you fall into the lake?”
“I hate my parents…”
“Why?”
“Make a wish my boyfriend said, and when I did he threw me into a well…”
“That’s horrible! But how is it your parent’s fault…?”
“I know I shouldn’t date idiots, but still… if they hadn’t named me Penny…”
Dramatic Kitchen Utensils
Yesterday my girlfriend and I were spooning, but her brother’s girlfriend kinda forked in. Which unfortunately made her brother come at us with a knife. I decided my plate was full, and to not stir the pot anymore I excused myself…
Thoughts and Prayers
Official: Our thoughts and prayers today are with the people…
The People: Phew! We’re saved! The politicians will start thinking from now on…
Official: Our thoughts and prayers today are with the people…
The People: What thoughts are that specifically? Because it seems there haven’t been many thoughts up to this point…
Official: Our thoughts and…
The People: BOOO!
Official: Listen… I’m not gonna say I’m sorry… but I’m thinking about it… it’s just… you know… when there are lots of guns in a place… things are bound to happen… And prayers won’t help but it’s always nice to feel you’re doing something…
