Category Archives: Humor

Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.

New Crisis Management Protocol

I’ve decided to implement a new crisis management protocol for when hilariously undermanned and epically underdocumented projects collide with predictably impossible problems:

Customer: …!
Customer: …?!
Me: We’re unable.
Customer: …!?
Customer: …!?!
Customer: …!?!?!
Me: Can’t do that.
Customer: …!!
Customer: …!!?!
Customer: …!!!!!
Customer: …!!?!!!?!!!
Customer: …!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: We’ll be in the Hudson.

 

Post-Truth and Death

Post-Truther: Death sucks! It should be banned!

Second Post-Truther: When the hell is the politicians going to get their shit together and ban death? I mean, seriously?!

Third Post-Truther: I didn’t know politicians could ban death! Wow!

Fouth Post-Truther: WTF?! You can ban death and no one’s doing it? What the fuck is wrong with you politicians!?!

Fifth Post-Truther: You will see my revenge comes next election!

Inappropriate and Arrogant

A: I’m bored! Tell me a joke.
B: I’d rather not.
A: Why?
B: They say my humor is inappropriate and arrogant.
A: Come on! How bad can it be?
B: Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
A: I’ll risk it!
B: Ok. Isaac Newton was studying relativity theory at the University of Boston.
A: And?
B: And one day he met Albert Einstein who was studying quantum mechanics at the same university…
A: Ok?
B: Yeah. There.
A: What?
B: That’s the joke.
A: I don’t get it…
B: Neither did they!