Category Archives: Humor

Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.

Rubber duck debugging

In software engineering, rubber duck debugging is a method of debugging code. The name is a reference to a story in the book The Pragmatic Programmer in which a programmer would carry around a rubber duck and debug their code by forcing themselves to explain it, line-by-line, to the duck.

via Rubber duck debugging – Wikipedia

Although, I can’t really imagine that implementing this en masse in my current office landscape will gain much in the effect of not interrupting your colleagues… I imagine sales will step in and stop it before any larger customer can see us… 😀


Header image: “Ty Beanie Duck Programming — It may not be a rubber duck, but I can hug it when it goes really bad!” Own work.

Throwing a Chair off a Building

Thinking about the pragmatic side of film making:

Paris
A: The street has been closed to traffic because Jean Reno is going to throw a chair off that building.
B: I don’t care. I can jump out of the way.

Stockholm
A: The street has been closed to traffic because Stellan Skarsgård is going to throw a chair off that building.
B: Is that really safe?! Do you have permission to do that?!

Los Angeles
A: The street has been closed to traffic because Brad Pitt is going to throw a chair off that building.
B: Ooooh! Will he autograph it first?

Although the actual location is in fact Budapest. Oops! I hope they closed the street for traffic before Brad Pitt threw that chair off that building… 😀

I have a horrifying truth to deliver

Hold on to your hats. And take a seat. And a stiff drink. And fasten your seatbelts…

You might as well say “Guns Kill People”…

In fact, I’m going to say it…

Guns Kill People!

There I said it! Ok, to be fair, it’s only like 90% likely that guns kill people… The other 10% got a plea deal…

Yeah, if your head is really simple, you’re now thinking I’m trying to tell you that guns have a will of their own. Why not comment about that so we all know who the idiots are?

No? Ok. Moving on.

The Relationship Between Gun Ownership and Firearm Homicide Rates in the United States, 1981–2010 (Siegel, Ross, et al 2013) shows a 0.9 correlation between gun ownership and firearm homicide rate.

(Here, here and here, are some more links since this article seems to conspiratorially disappear at regular intervals… the truth can be hard sometimes… Just saying…)

That means “for each percentage point increase in gun ownership, the firearm homicide rate increased by 0.9%.”

That means there is a “large” strength of association between gun ownership and firearm homicide.

Like, if you swim, you get wet. Or if you fall asleep, you have dreams (you may not remember them afterward but it is probably more than 90% likely you have them…) Or if you eat, you shit. Or if you have a gun, you can shoot someone… MUCH easier than if you have no gun.

I mean…

I feel I’m privileged to live in a “twilight-zone-ified” era that requires the explanation of the fact that being shot by a gun could kill you and that if you have 7.5 guns the risk of that is very, very, very much higher than if you have NO gun, zero guns, 0.

But that’s just the crust. What makes this era magical? The fact that you can shoot someone much easier with a gun than without is doubted.

Well, now you have statistics that say so.

You have a home run in statistical correlation!

And if you don’t know what a home run is… it’s when you run home to mama and cry, and sell your guns and buy golf clubs and lose 50 pounds… (In ammo, I’m not going to fat shame gun owners… hey!) Oh, and the golf clubs are for playing golf, not self-defense.

I am sure I live in a time that will be looked back at and most certainly replayed in media, like the bring-out-your-dead-plague-era or from-the-fury-of-the-Northmen-O-Lord-deliver-us-Viking-invasions-era.

Soo much inspiration for 1984-ish writings!

I don’t know, maybe all of the above are myths, lies and fake news?

Here are some more “myths” to enjoy.

Oh, and if the header image makes your penis hurt… seek professional help! (I know there are some people out there that have that problem. I’m not going to apologize…)


Header image by MomentmalLink

Courtroom Drama with Psychics

Judge: It seems that, due to unfortunate circumstances, the murderer was, in fact, not a murderer at all.

Prosecutor: But he was successfully executed so I’ll put that one down in the win column.

Medium: I had a conversation with him last night and he gave me a message to read to the court.

Judge: Go ahead.

Medium: Right… asking permission to use profanity, your honor…

Judge: Permission denied.

Medium: Ok. So, there’s a lot of profanity and the message ends along the lines of… I truly regret you won’t end up where I am after you die… However, with a little luck, my request to assist at the Pearly Gate that day will be approved…

Prosecutor: Are the condemned really allowed to assist at the Pearly Gate?

Theologian: Not according to the Bible…

Judge: So, it’s fair to assume he’s in the other place…

Prosecutor: But the profanity?!

Theologian: It would appear he has a few plus points to spend…

Prosecutor: Oh.


 

P.s. If you didn’t think much about there being a medium and a theologian in the courtroom… I hope that’s not a reflection of the justice system where you live… and if it is… you have my heartfelt sympathies! D.s.