Category Archives: Humor

Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.

Time Merchant

I decided to spend my retirement in ancient Rome, but I made the huge mistake of bringing a tube of mayonnaise. Now everyone wants snake-shaped aioli and I have to shuttle back and forth between antiquity and modern times like some kind of damned time merchant! The only thing worse would be if they figured out I wasn’t from Atlantis, but the future. God only knows what kind of unrefusable offers they would force upon me then!

As Long As we’re Allowed to Nag About Extremism…

“Do you have to keep nagging about extremism? Seriously, no one is saying they’re going to start concentration camps or anything!”

“Yeah, Hitler didn’t win the german election on a program of world war, holocaust and the total destruction of Germany… however, given that he ended up taking his life in a bunker, I’m going to say not even he knew the final result of his political agenda.”

“You’re talking about something that isn’t going to happen again!”

“With a little luck… at least not as long as we’re allowed to nag about the consequences of that kind of thinking…”

Children of God

Humanity: We’re the crown of God’s creation! We’re the children of God!
God: Eh… Right… I guess technically… Yeah, sure… you could say you’re my children… (Redheaded stepchildren…)
Humanity: Yay! We rock!
God: Sure, sure. Now go play civilization with the other sentient species… daddy is busy!
Humanity: WHAT!?!?! Waaaaaaahhhh!
God: Fiddlesticks!
Goddess: What did you do?!?
God: I told humanity about other sentient species…
Goddess sighs: We agreed to wait till they got older!
God: Sorry.
Goddess: My poor babies! Come to mama!