Category Archives: Computers and Internet

Posts on computer science and the web, rants about OS:es, Window Managers, Platforms for almost publishing content on the web, and the like.

New Crisis Management Protocol

I’ve decided to implement a new crisis management protocol for when hilariously undermanned and epically underdocumented projects collide with predictably impossible problems:

Customer: …!
Customer: …?!
Me: We’re unable.
Customer: …!?
Customer: …!?!
Customer: …!?!?!
Me: Can’t do that.
Customer: …!!
Customer: …!!?!
Customer: …!!!!!
Customer: …!!?!!!?!!!
Customer: …!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: We’ll be in the Hudson.

 

Typical Support Case

Here’s how a typical support case works after my colleagues started checking out like flies in November and my idea that management thought knowledge was transferred via some kind of “USB”-cable for programmers’ brains turned out to be enormously optimistic—the predominant theory seems to be that knowledge sticks to the walls… I’m hoping no one orders me to lick the walls…:

Customer: The system is broken! What’s wrong?

After lots of research in non-existing documentation and uncommented code following the “unnecessary surgery” doctrine of Ghostbusters (this relates both to the term itself and the performance of the actors in the linked clip…):

Me: The input is wrong…

Automatic software or app updates not working on your iPhone? Fix it!

“Automatic software and app updates are most likely to start working when your iPhone is plugged in for long periods while remaining connected to Wi-Fi.”

Source: Automatic software or app updates not working on your iPhone? Fix it!

I’m wondering… how does their general personality affect the decision to update or not? Does their mood affect the decision as well? Hmmm…

Or is it just that Apple wishes to be mysterious about their update rules? The people writing about Apple products?

Seems to me, unless they hooked the update decision to a neural network there should be a pretty clear cut rule…

Unless the bastard is bugging out… I mean is having a bad day…

How to use the document scanner on iPhone and iPad | iMore

Apple’s document scanner is hidden inside the Notes app, and because it supports in-app sharing, you can store the newly scanned document anywhere you want.

Source: How to use the document scanner on iPhone and iPad | iMore

Wow! I didn’t know my iPhone could do that… phew… postponing printer, scanner, copier hunt for better days 😀