Post-Truther: Death sucks! It should be banned!
Second Post-Truther: When the hell is the politicians going to get their shit together and ban death? I mean, seriously?!
Third Post-Truther: I didn’t know politicians could ban death! Wow!
Fouth Post-Truther: WTF?! You can ban death and no one’s doing it? What the fuck is wrong with you politicians!?!
Fifth Post-Truther: You will see my revenge comes next election!
I’m building a MUDE: Multi-User Disconnected Experience… also known as writing a book…
A: I’m bored! Tell me a joke.
B: I’d rather not.
B: They say my humor is inappropriate and arrogant.
A: Come on! How bad can it be?
B: Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
A: I’ll risk it!
B: Ok. Isaac Newton was studying relativity theory at the University of Boston.
B: And one day he met Albert Einstein who was studying quantum mechanics at the same university…
B: Yeah. There.
B: That’s the joke.
A: I don’t get it…
B: Neither did they!
“Hey! How about you dial that back to zero percent?”
“The fuck’s that supposed to mean?”
“It’s Nerd for shut the fuck up!”
“Who’s gonna make me? You and what army?”
“I won’t make you do anything… I may, however, make your email app attach a random dick-pic with every outgoing email…”
Unexpected consequences of falling asleep while listening to music:
Do you like Paula Abdul or that bad, bad blood?
Since I was, in fact, “sleep listening” to “Bad Blood” I have to assume I liked “that bad, bad blood” but since I was dreaming I can’t be sure…
This bottle of red rum is a rellik. It’s a bouquet to die for!
As a submariner I’m always subconscious at work… however, I also get a lot of help from my unconscious.
“People may think hair pulling is lame, but when we do it, it results in bloodshed and black eyes…”
“Yeah, if you use your feet for leverage…”
“What did the polygraph said?”
“Either he’s lying, or he had to fart a lot.”
“Yeah… The polygraph can tell us if they need to fart or if they are lying, but we haven’t figured out yet how to distinguish between the two…”
“Either way, he’s a disgusting person. Let’s lock him up.”