All posts by erk

I love writing, computers, puns... and can sometimes be spiritual, or mindful.

Humor

So much in common

Aside Tue, Jun 30, 2020 erk Leave a comment

We’ve got so much in common! You’re a therapist and I need therapy…

Humor

How About that Mathematical Proof that Women are Evil?

Sat, Jun 27, 2020 erk Leave a comment

How about that mathematical proof that women are evil? It goes like this:

Women require time and money… (And I have the black eye to prove that’s all that’s needed… oh yeah… moving on…)

$women = time \cdot money$

Time is money (I’m just not able to find a bank where I can deposit my time, or even less get interest rate on it…)

$time = money$

So…

$women = money \cdot money = money^2$

Money is the root of all evil (which actually is pretty nice to money… after all, 4 money only gives 2 evil … or maybe that’s just to say evil is expensive?)

$money = \sqrt{evil}$

Which means that…

$women = (\sqrt{evil})^2$

Which then obviously means…

$women = evil$

Right?

Wrong!

I bet you’re the kind of person that didn’t pay attention in math class?

An example:

$2^2 = 4$

$(-2)^2 = 4$

So…

$\sqrt{4} = \pm 2$

Which means that in reality …

$women = \pm evil$

Women are evil… or not evil… which we kind of already knew without all this math.

Hah!

Creative Writing, Creativity

Big Slab of Stone

Aside Thu, Jun 25, 2020 erk Leave a comment

Writing the first draft of my new novel I produce some sentences and paragraphs that force me to remember that even the most gorgeous marble statue begun as a big slab of bulky stone.

Humor

Flair for the Dramatic

Aside Tue, Jun 23, 2020 erk Leave a comment

“Why the hell did you shoot a flare into the gas tank?”
“I had a flare for the dramatic…”

Computers and Internet, Humor

Java Lambda Humor

Sat, Jun 20, 2020 erk Leave a comment

I was experimenting with Lambdas in Java on IntelliJ IDEA… they have a sense of humor.

I was wondering how simple a lambda could get so…

final Supplier<Double> supplier = () -> 1d;
double value = supplier.get();

A lambda (supplier) that produces a number (1) from no input. Pretty simple. What will happen to the code if I refactor supplier to make it an inline expression?

double value = ((Supplier<Double>) () -> 1d).get();

Well… that’s kind of in line with casting and such. Not that nice looking… However, now the IDE tells me I can make a simplification… “Replace method call on lambda with lambda body…” let’s try that:

double value = 1d;

Yeah… hmmm… that’s a pretty simple “lambda” indeed… hah!

Humor

Trying to Email About Trying to Email About Trying to Email About a Totally Fucked Up Situation

Tue, Jun 16, 2020 erk Leave a comment

Hello,

I’ve spent several days trying to email you about the situation, but every email quickly filled up with expletives, insults, and four-letter-words.

So, I tried to write an email about trying to write an email but that email also became riddled with offensive language pretty quick.

So, in short, the situation is fuuuu…. god damn it! Fuck!

I mean, seriously? How the fuck do you shitholes even manage to draw breath? An amoeba would have IQ 500 compared to what you have! Fucking Jesus would recommend compulsory slaughter if he saw you… I am sure he’s making the case to have you asswipes forever removed from existence in this very moment! FUCK!

Well… fuck that mail too… I probably shouldn’t try to call either… Maybe use a singing telegram service? Where are messengers when you need them?