– Can you dig archaeology?
– Deep dude!
– Not too deep, or you’d be doing speleology.
Category Archives: Humor
Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.
Partying with Daniel Craig and Lindsay Lohan
In Cannes, partying with Daniel Craig and Lindsay Lohan. Their faces are huge. He looks a bit old and she looks a bit over the top with her make-up, but hey! They are great drinking buddies!
“Cool,” I say, “that music sounds just like my alarm clock.”
Daniel fades.
“It’s your call,” Lindsay says.
“Fuck!” I say and wake up.
Modern Apology
Modern apology: “I’m afraid that there is such a rich thesaurus now of things that I have said that have been one way or another, through what alchemy I do not know, somehow misconstrued that it would really take me too long to engage in a fully global itinerary of apology to all concerned.”
/Britain’s Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson
Catastrophe Alarm the Samsung Way
So, I’m on the phone and it starts vibrating worse than ever, and I’m like: WTF? No indications or “popups” or whatever.
Then when I’m done talking the phone vibrates again, this time accompanied by the patented “worst ringtone ever”:
This time when I check the phone it turns out the Samsung Zone Alarm is warning about “ice and snow” in Stockholm.
That’s great to know, but seriously… THAT RINGTONE?
I mean imagine, people in floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, and storms hearing THAT RINGTONE? Can you sue for psychological damage?
Ok. Snow storms in Sweden are OK if you keep off the roads and you don’t have the bad luck to get hit by something like “Gudrun,” that may, in fact, bring you off the power grid for a couple of weeks (if you live in the more rural parts of Sweden…)
Cover image: By Dave Harlow, USGS – CVO Photo Archives – Pinatubo, Philippines, Public Domain, Link
Lie for a living
I lie for a living, and nobody believes me, and now I’m telling the truth and they still don’t believe me! I hate people!
Candy Corn
Intent to possess
Witch doctor arrested for possession with the intent to possess.
Safe Word in Yoga
“OK. If there’s a safe word in Yoga, I’d like to know, because at this point I’d like to say it… Aaaaarghhh!”
/NCIS Los Angeles, Season 7, Episode 7
When chemists die
When chemists die, they barium.
I have a type
– How come you never go on dates?
– I have a type…
– A type?
– A typewriter…
Talkwards 