I’m literally writing a book… Or, at least outlining it. Okay, so maybe it’s figuratively a book and literally an outline…
Category Archives: Humor
Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.
Courtroom Drama with Psychics
Judge: It seems that, due to unfortunate circumstances, the murderer was, in fact, not a murderer at all.
Prosecutor: But he was successfully executed so I’ll put that one down in the win column.
Medium: I had a conversation with him last night and he gave me a message to read to the court.
Judge: Go ahead.
Medium: Right… asking permission to use profanity, your honor…
Judge: Permission denied.
Medium: Ok. So, there’s a lot of profanity and the message ends along the lines of… I truly regret you won’t end up where I am after you die… However, with a little luck, my request to assist at the Pearly Gate that day will be approved…
Prosecutor: Are the condemned really allowed to assist at the Pearly Gate?
Theologian: Not according to the Bible…
Judge: So, it’s fair to assume he’s in the other place…
Prosecutor: But the profanity?!
Theologian: It would appear he has a few plus points to spend…
Prosecutor: Oh.
P.s. If you didn’t think much about there being a medium and a theologian in the courtroom… I hope that’s not a reflection of the justice system where you live… and if it is… you have my heartfelt sympathies! D.s.
Denial of DOS Service
I need to install a denial of DOS service for my computer… how do I prevent Windows from being installed?
Pre-Truth
I’m installing Microsoft Visual Studio 2019 and while the program is downloading I get a popup about taking a survey so Microsoft can improve the quality of “the Product”, I’m assuming Visual Studio 2019… Welcome to Pre-Truth…
Slumpatizer
The problem with politics today is that too many politicians and political agendas have slumpatizers instead of sympathizers…
Have Lucy Nation
My name is Lucy and I have my own nation… Hallucination!
Paralegal Drip
Watching medical dramas when tired can have the strangest results:
Wait? What? They’re giving her a paralegal drip?!
Refurnishing.
I think my neighbor is playing music. Or moving heavy furniture. It’s not always obvious which is which.
All Rights Reserved
A: How is my recommendation doing?
B: We had to let him go…
A: Sorry to hear that, what happened?
B: He brought a bucket of shit to work…
A: That sounds serious… what did he do?
B: He literally brought a bucket of excrement… We had to call in our lawyers to refine the line in our contracts that says we own everything the employees produce… that’s obviously not what we want…
B: We had to let him go…
A: Sorry to hear that, what happened?
B: He brought a bucket of shit to work…
A: That sounds serious… what did he do?
B: He literally brought a bucket of excrement… We had to call in our lawyers to refine the line in our contracts that says we own everything the employees produce… that’s obviously not what we want…
Loud Sex
A: Whenever I hear my neighbors having loud sex I always think; get over yourselves! Nobody is having that much fun.
B: Consider the human condition for a moment. Isn’t it likely that by being louder in bed you’re not only able to convince your partner they’re much better in bed than they are, but also yourself that you’re having much more fun than you really are?
A: Get over yourself!
Talkwards 