When chemists die, they barium.
– How come you never go on dates?
– I have a type…
– A type?
– A typewriter…
Positive thinking: One good thing about a nuclear war is that perishable goods would most likely have their due dates pushed several weeks into the “future.”
– Have you noticed many TV-shows are trying to revive the 80ies?
– Yeah. Have you noticed many politicians are trying to revive the 30ies?
Update: Apparently, it’s not only the politicians that are trying to reinvent the 30ies. They do it while beeing cheered on by the “voters.”
What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
Prosecutor: So, you never heard the defendant say he was planning the murder?
Prosecutor: As far as you know?
Witness: I also know things I don’t know…
Witness: It’s my super power… of course it’s as far as I know… Captain Obvious!
How the name John came into existence…
Courtier 1: Your majesty, let me introduce Sir Rorohonojohn of…
The King: JOOOOHN!
Courtier 1: Rorohonojohn…
The King: JOHN! JOHN! JOHN!
Courtier 1: Your majesty…
The King: KILL! KILL! KILL!
Courtier 1 is dispatched of.
Courtier 2: Your majesty, Sir John of Brightumberlandmore…
The King: MOOOOORE! MOOOORE! MOOOOORE!
Courtier 2: Sir John of Moore!
It’s called Justice, not “Just this…”
That’s why you need all the info before you go to trial…
As a former Linux user, I’m getting really, really, really burnt by homebrew.
My big fallacy is that I was used to having the package manager handle everything for me.
Brew doesn’t do that. Oh my, it certainly does not!
In programming, there’s no escape from backslashes!!\!