– You’re not talking much?
– I’m not a fan.
– Of talking?
– No, that’s not at all what I mean… I just don’t ventilate…
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
Head Injury
– How are your heard injury today?
– I’m pretty. It’s just that I seem to end my sentences with the wrong baseball.
– Hmm?
– I mean the wrong potato. What I mean to say is that the words in the end of the sentences are green.
– Interesting.
– Not to him.
– Who?
– I mean, I don’t find it palliative.
– It upsets you?
– Yes. I mean; yes! Oh, damn her! I mean to say, yes! Ta-da. Let’s just say I am still working on my head theory. Ahhh, Idea! Assumption!
– Injury?
– No! Ah, oops! You know what I am trying to untie?
– Indeed.
What’s for dinner?
Dinner procedure:
- Open the refrigerator and ask “what’s for dinner?”
- Eat anything that doesn’t reply
- Avoid being eaten by those things that do reply…
Man created God in his image
Man created God in his image
Once we gained the ability to create and understand things created, we needed to explain all the things we had not created ourselves… we needed a creator… so we created one…
How do you make holy water?
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it!
Fifty Shades
Fifty Shades of Black: my sock drawer :S
Fifty Shades of Nay: that BDSM/porn thing that was released a few years ago…
Fifty Shades of Bacon: Oink Oink! :O
Sleepless
I am sleepless! Hear me roar!
Guns don’t kill people
Guns don’t kill people,
people kill people…
Sell more guns to the people!
Uh… Wait! What?!
Liberty Bell Cracked
