Category Archives: Humor

Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.

Installing a mouse on Windows

After having tried to install a mouse (yes you heard me right, install a mouse) on Windows (now it makes sense, right?) I’m expecting to see a three headed dog walking on its hind legs.

Now, my mouse (my Microsoft mouse) was not supported by my computer (running Windows) so I had to rip the newer mouse from my Linux box and plug it into the Windows box, and after downloading, confirming the usage agreement (huh?) the mouse driver software installation progress *phew* started. After a lengthy stare period featuring a progress bar I finally had my mouse.

Yay!

While all that progressed I plugged the old (“unrecognizable”) mouse into my Linux box and lo and behold, it worked the instant I plugged it in. (Actually, no I’ve learned not to “lo and behold” Linux like decades ago, it’s SOP for that OS that simple things just work – sure you have to choose your graphics card wisely etc, but hell, a mouse pointer…?)

But Microsoft’s OS is superior… that’s what the Microsoft aficionados are whining anyway.

Oh, and pray the gods you always have access to Internet or your supersplendidgloriousfinesuperior Windows will have to work without a mouse…

Backing up Concerned Files

Wolfram-Idea-Management-SystemI work with installing and configuring software products. The following “documentation” on backup procedures for an imaginary software system called “Wolfram Idea Management” came to me in the half asleep/half awake stage just after waking up, but kind of before realizing it has happened.

And, no, I hope this has never happened for real! If there is a Wolfram Idea Management system out there, any likeness to that system is coincidental even if per chance the following document could have been ripped out of that software package’s manual pages – then any likenesses are still just coincidental. I’m just that good! (No I do not work with a system called Wolfram… Although the phrase “backing up concerned files” do come from work…)


Wolfram Idea
Management® Software

Backing up concerned files


Important! Important! Important! Important! Important! Important! Important!

ONLY RUN THE PREPACKED BACKUP COMMAND IN WOLFRAM® WHEN BACKING UP FILES!

The command is named “calli-fuckyou-fornia-dream.exe

For the long explanation read the below text.

Important! Important! Important! Important! Important! Important! Important!

Please! Please! Please! Read the whole document before you backup the system!

IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU DO READ THE WHOLE DOCUMENT BEFORE YOU BACKUP THE SYSTEM!

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