Shut up, I’ve patented language!
Category Archives: Humor
Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.
Why do Vampires eat humans?
One thing about vampires that really confuses me is the fact that they like to suck the blood of humans, and they get depressed and pitiable if they have to feed on some animal.
I mean, have you ever met a person you would like to eat? Okay part from the fact that it’s cannibalistic and totally wrong… I’d say most people drink, smoke, or just plain eat wrong.
If I was a vampire, I’d go depressed if I only had people’s blood to suck.
But then again, I know a vampire is supposed to be all symbolic and not that pragmatic that they would only hunt on a health club…
Google glass – resistance is futile!
See the similarities? I think the BoRG collective has arrived and become board members of Google!
Being a hero sucks
Being a hero sucks; wherever I go there’s conflict and drama and whatever I try to do there’s always complications! And it’s all because of these pompous authors! I hate them!
Projects with vampires
Using vampires in the project eventually turned into a bloody mess. While they have a great deal of respect for the stakeholders they finally sucked anyway.
The Surveillance Society
Police: You’re under arrest for treason!
Citizen: Why?
Police: You are having a dream about assassinating the president.
Citizen: But that’s not the president! It’s my father… with a president-mask.
Police: OK, then it’s conspiracy to commit murder…
Citizen: Oh! I’m sorry.
Installing a mouse on Windows
After having tried to install a mouse (yes you heard me right, install a mouse) on Windows (now it makes sense, right?) I’m expecting to see a three headed dog walking on its hind legs.
Now, my mouse (my Microsoft mouse) was not supported by my computer (running Windows) so I had to rip the newer mouse from my Linux box and plug it into the Windows box, and after downloading, confirming the usage agreement (huh?) the mouse driver software installation progress *phew* started. After a lengthy stare period featuring a progress bar I finally had my mouse.
Yay!
While all that progressed I plugged the old (“unrecognizable”) mouse into my Linux box and lo and behold, it worked the instant I plugged it in. (Actually, no I’ve learned not to “lo and behold” Linux like decades ago, it’s SOP for that OS that simple things just work – sure you have to choose your graphics card wisely etc, but hell, a mouse pointer…?)
But Microsoft’s OS is superior… that’s what the Microsoft aficionados are whining anyway.
Oh, and pray the gods you always have access to Internet or your supersplendidgloriousfinesuperior Windows will have to work without a mouse…
What’s good for you nerves…
What’s good for your nerves may not always be good for your results, and vice verse.
Divorcee charged with murder
Divorcee charged with murder, she had an ex to grind…
Croakaine
Croakaine – the drug and the effect in one word!
