Her name is Mandi Belle and she bites…
Category Archives: Humor
Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.
Threats and coercion
Right, you’re threatening me with your lawyer in order to coerce me into doing things your way… If only threats and coercion were illegal…
Too much 3D sound
“Oh, that was the singer? I thought it was some creep standing behind me screaming obscenities…”
Why we’ll never see 100% realistic 3D sound on concerts…
A TNT
“There’s a huge crater where your house used to be!”
“I know! I tried to install a TNT. Now I’ve realized it’s spelled AT&T…”
“I know! I tried to install a TNT. Now I’ve realized it’s spelled AT&T…”
Survivor
“My parents are both musicians. You could say I’m a soul survivor…”
Baldly Moving On
Things got hairy, and we had a close shave. Now we’re baldly moving on…
Asteroids
– I find this anti-doping nonsense ridiculous!
– Uh-hu…
– I mean even the earth has steroids!
– The earth?
– Yeah… A-steroids!
Failed encouragement
Failed encouragement:
– You’re not supposed to lose weight because you’re ugly, but because it’s healthy.
– Well, fuck you too!
How (not) to teach someone to swim…
How to teach someone to swim: Throw them in at the deep end.
Whoever came up with that idea has either never tried to learn to swim or swims like a dog…
Explain it to me like I’m a Five-Year-Old
On the interview:
Interviewer: Explain recursive programming to me like I’m a five-year-old.
Interviewee: Right… Do you know where your mommy and daddy are?
Then again:
“I’ve taught immigration law literally to 3-year-olds and 4-year-olds. It takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of patience. They get it. It’s not the most efficient, but it can be done.”
Judge Jack Weil
Maybe toddlers in the US are different from the rest of the world?
Update: On the other hand, those toddlers expected to learn US immigration law aren’t American toddlers…
Update 2: Interesting how it’s economically feasible to have a judge spend, presumably hours, teaching a toddler immigration law… likely because it’s much cheaper than giving the kid proper representation and risk having it immigrate…
Talkwards 