He hits on everything with a pulse. He’s like a dog with a boner…
Category Archives: Humor
Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.
Chainsaw Murderer
“112, how may I be of assistance?”
“Yes, Hello? Is this 112?”
“This is 112, how can I help you?”
“Yes. I am sorry to disturb you this wonderful afternoon, however, we seem to have gotten a chainsaw murderer in our living room. We managed to lock ourselves in the bathroom but I fear he might start sawing the door any moment…”
“I think you’re a bit dramatic now. Chainsawers aren’t that dangerous.”
“He is sawing the furniture, and I’m pretty sure, if my nephew hadn’t been so quick on his feet he would have sawed him too.”
“That may be the case, but you shouldn’t be calling us for these problems.”
“I’m sorry, who should I be calling?”
“An exterminator. You’re taking up the line for life-threatening situations.”
“But, it’s a chainsaw murderer!”
“Yes, they are becoming more and more common. The exterminator knows how to deal with them. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“No. Ah… Yes! Perhaps, a number for an exterminator?”
“This is not the yellow pages!”
Talking to dead people
Monica the Medium: I talk to dead people.
Me (thinking of Ducky in NCIS): Okay. Do they talk back?
Sir Lance-a-lot
“He’s waving his lance around a lot…”
“Meet Sir Lance-a-lot…”
“Meet Sir Lance-a-lot…”
Living on the Prairie
I don’t get what Bon Jovi is whining about! A lot of people are living on the prairie…
Clive Barker
They probably shouldn’t have named the dog Clive Barker… but then again, who would’ve guessed dogs understand English?
Upper case numbers
Computer people are joking about users asking about upper case numbers…
Lower case: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Upper case: = ! " # € % & / ( )
Seriously? I don’t understand what all the fuss is about!
There’s also:
Alt case: © @ £ $ ∞ § { [ ] }
But that one’s a bit more OS/Language dependent…
Header image courtesy of Pixabay.
Errors and Warnings
AI Nanny: The children have been transported to the daycare center. There were 0 errors and 0 warnings.
Owner: What? Errors and warnings? What did you do?!
No Collusion
There was no collusion… only some friendly cooperation and a lot of mutual back-scratching…
Mission Vision
If I ever decide to become a clothes designer my mission vision will be fashion passion…
Talkwards 