If you don’t like what I write, you can take comfort in the fact that I don’t like what you think.
Category Archives: Humor
Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.
Ancestry
I am of 3/4 Swedish and 1/4 unknown ancestry… however, being a Homo Sapiens I also claim African descent…
I am also curious as to why all actor profiles on IMDB speaks of people’s ancestry… It’s almost worth trying to get into some movie as an extra just to be able to put the above in my own profile… Can you have a profile as a moviegoer? I mean, IMDB is falling apart anyway…
Protect and Serve
I asked the police for condoms. They threatened to arrest me. So much for “Protect and Serve”!
Fool O’Clock
When things started to spin out of control we had to concede it was probably fool o’clock in the morning and time to call it a day.
Challenge
“I’m sorry. I can’t be your boyfriend. I’m rude and I’m a challenge to anyone, and you’re already challenged enough…”
Manipulation
I manipulate people, but I’m not an evil person… I do it for their own good…
Snotweiler
My dog has a cold: Snotweiler…
Shot the Hell Up
“Want some whine with that?”
“Thank’s I’ll manage with a Shot the Hell Up.”
“Thank’s I’ll manage with a Shot the Hell Up.”
New Crisis Management Protocol
I’ve decided to implement a new crisis management protocol for when hilariously undermanned and epically underdocumented projects collide with predictably impossible problems:
Customer: …!
Customer: …?!
Me: We’re unable.
Customer: …!?
Customer: …!?!
Customer: …!?!?!
Me: Can’t do that.
Customer: …!!
Customer: …!!?!
Customer: …!!!!!
Customer: …!!?!!!?!!!
Customer: …!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: We’ll be in the Hudson.
We’re talking Fur
“We’re talking fur here!”
“No, you’re not.”
“Of course we are, feel how soft it is!”
“You’re talking English. Fur is a Nilo-Saharan language spoken by the Fur of Darfur in Western Sudan.”
“You’re suffering from Wikipedia…”
Talkwards 