In Cannes, partying with Daniel Craig and Lindsay Lohan. Their faces are huge. He looks a bit old and she looks a bit over the top with her make-up, but hey! They are great drinking buddies!
“Cool,” I say, “that music sounds just like my alarm clock.”
Daniel fades.
“It’s your call,” Lindsay says.
“Fuck!” I say and wake up.
Modern apology: “I’m afraid that there is such a rich thesaurus now of things that I have said that have been one way or another, through what alchemy I do not know, somehow misconstrued that it would really take me too long to engage in a fully global itinerary of apology to all concerned.”
/Britain’s Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson
I lie for a living, and nobody believes me, and now I’m telling the truth and they still don’t believe me! I hate people!
Witch doctor arrested for possession with the intent to possess.
If you feel that Trump University didn’t deliver what it promised, you missed the point totally: It was a very well performed live demonstration of how a rich capitalist can get richer…
Now go forth and imitate: con, steal, lie and cheat! If it’s good for you, it’s good for your country… I promise!
– How come you never go on dates?
– I have a type…
– A type?
– A typewriter…
Defining/scary moments in life:
– Will this ever fucking end?
– It’s called life, and it always ends.
Unwillingness to understand must be one of the shortest paths to idiocy…
Positive thinking: One good thing about a nuclear war is that perishable goods would most likely have their due dates pushed several weeks into the “future.”
Talkwards 