– I find this anti-doping nonsense ridiculous!
– Uh-hu…
– I mean even the earth has steroids!
– The earth?
– Yeah… A-steroids!
Asides
JPA: @OneTooMany Annotations
JPA: @OneTooMany Annotations…
Nope, it’s still faster, easier and less memory intensive to just store simple XML in the file system… I figure out… two weeks later… 😐
Failed encouragement
Failed encouragement:
– You’re not supposed to lose weight because you’re ugly, but because it’s healthy.
– Well, fuck you too!
How (not) to teach someone to swim…
How to teach someone to swim: Throw them in at the deep end.
Whoever came up with that idea has either never tried to learn to swim or swims like a dog…
The Gun
What’s the difference between a bar fight and a mass shooting?
Torture works!
Torture works! Everyone being tortured confesses! It rocks! What? Incorrect confessions? Why would they lie if they’re innocent? And still, we’ve proven they’re liars… stands to reason they’re not that innocent, don’t you think?
Assumo
If you assume too many things you risk turning into a big, fat assumo!
Bully for president
Do you remember how your parents told you the kids that gave you wedgies and pushed your head into the toilet and flushed wouldn’t amount to much when they grew up? What perspective do we have on that now that Donald Trump is US president?
Lie for a living
I lie for a living, and nobody believes me, and now I’m telling the truth and they still don’t believe me! I hate people!
Human problemsolving
Human problem solving:
- We use logic,
- however, if we can’t use logic, we use emotions,
- and, if we can’t use emotions, we use violence,
- and, if we can’t use violence, we convince ourselves violence is wrong… Which takes us back to step 1.
Talkwards 