Racism is the ultimate form of shallowness…
Dramatic Kitchen Utensils
Yesterday my girlfriend and I were spooning, but her brother’s girlfriend kinda forked in. Which unfortunately made her brother come at us with a knife. I decided my plate was full, and to not stir the pot anymore I excused myself…
Thoughts and Prayers
Official: Our thoughts and prayers today are with the people…
The People: Phew! We’re saved! The politicians will start thinking from now on…
Official: Our thoughts and prayers today are with the people…
The People: What thoughts are that specifically? Because it seems there haven’t been many thoughts up to this point…
Official: Our thoughts and…
The People: BOOO!
Official: Listen… I’m not gonna say I’m sorry… but I’m thinking about it… it’s just… you know… when there are lots of guns in a place… things are bound to happen… And prayers won’t help but it’s always nice to feel you’re doing something…
Cake
You cannot have the cake and eat the cake, but hopefully, you can keep it…
Curses and incantations
Anything is possible… with the proper curses and incantations!
RPG Holiday Generator
RPG Holiday Generator:
Every second month the festival of Dhrankhaz is celebrated. It is a holiday associated with folly, inebriation and general escape from reality. The festivities last for a glorious seventy-two days and nights.
Crushing Injuries from Coronavirus
“The patient is suffering from internal bleeding due to crushing injuries. It’s fair to say it’s attributable to the coronavirus…”
“How do you get crushing injuries from a virus?!”
“When the toilet paper tower comes crashing down…”
“How do you get crushing injuries from a virus?!”
“When the toilet paper tower comes crashing down…”
Fantasy Name Advisory
“Thethuthothethar and Khakhokhekhokham stared each other down, swords at the ready, fists clenched around the hilts, breaths coming in white clouds as their feet slowly drew arcs in the newly fallen snow. The white would soon turn red.”
Yeah, “th” is cool and “kh” … but no. Nope. Nay. Not even the Aztecs!
Chopping
“Where did the ax murderer go?”
“He went out to do some chopping…”
“He went out to do some chopping…”
A Pinch of Salt
“A pinch of salt… isn’t that a bit inexact?”
“Yes, and on purpose too… so you’ll give up the exact science and use your taste buds to figure out how much salt you need instead…”
“Yes, and on purpose too… so you’ll give up the exact science and use your taste buds to figure out how much salt you need instead…”
Talkwards 