“You were wrong. It doesn’t hurt less when you rip off a bandit… instead, I ended up in a world of hurt!”
“I said to rip the band-aid off!”
“I said to rip the band-aid off!”
Category Archives: Humor
Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.
Happily Ever After
I was into happily ever after, but it turned out my ex was more into happily after whenever.
How about that temporal programming?
Did you read my article on temporal programming?
Cool, huh?
Did you manage to make temporal programming in Java work?
No?
You need a quantum computer, of course, and Java 15…
Don’t believe me?
Good!
After all, yesterdays was April 1st!*
😛
* Ok. Come to think of it, with time zones and all… I am guessing the post was technically published on mars 31st in, e.g. the Americas… :÷|
Strong names…
I’m not a fan of Windows strong names… In general, I am not a fan of any form of strong language whatsoever…
To Do List – buy Iceland…
To do list:
- Write bestseller
- Buy an… Iceland
No… that doesn’t sound right… hmmm…
To do list:
- Learn more English
- Write bestseller
- Buy a … whatever a piece of land surrounded by ocean is called…
I know, step 3 might indicate places like Britain… but then again… who knows how much it would be worth after Brexit…
I’m just saying… It could happen!
To Climate Change Deniers
To climate change deniers: What if I told you the people that pay you to think that way will lose all their money when the climate goes to hell?
The National Nuclear Arms Association
Having carefully scrutinized all twenty-seven words of the second amendment to the U.S. Constitution I see nothing that would prevent the introduction of a National Nuclear Arms Association that would fiercely protect the American people’s right to arm themselves with nukes!
After all. There are Russians and North Koreans in the world!
Alas, District of Columbia v. Heller states:
“Like most rights, the Second Amendment right is not unlimited. It is not a right to keep and carry any weapon whatsoever in any manner whatsoever and for whatever purpose”
You might have convinced me to become an American if it hadn’t been for your totally wussy amendment interpretations.
Man up!
Image: By U.S. Navy – U.S. Navy All Hands magazine May 1961, p. 21., Public Domain, Link
Date formats
Since it seems popular to create and use illogical date formats, here are some suggestions:
- October 22 15 2018 CE 10
- Monday 10 15 2018 CE 22 October
- 22 2018 15 Monday CE October 10
- 10 Monday 22 15 October 2018 CE
- Monday 2018 CE October 15 22:10
- 15 October 22 Monday CE 10 2018
- 1 10 10 15 22 2018 CE
What’s the date? Well, of course, 2018-10-15 at 22:10, which happens to be (happened to be?) a Monday.
SF Author Beware of Law Suits
As an aspiring SF author, I try not to write about real stars and planets… I mean, who knows who might want to sue you in a couple of years or decades?
Things that will kill you
Things that will kill you:
- Three minutes without air
- Three days without water
- Three weeks without food
- …oh, and Three hours without coffee… right? 😀
But there are always exceptions:
- In cold water, there are reports of survival up to an hour without oxygen. Freedivers manage up to four and a half minutes (22 minutes when not diving to depths), helped by the mammalian diving reflex (and some preparation like oxygen saturation)
- And if you’re unfortunate enough to be in an Austrian prison in the 70ies, you may have to try to survive without water for 18 days… although, there may have been some wall licking going on there…
- If you are overweight, you can survive much longer than twenty one days without food
- The coffee, however, that’s an absolute! 🙂
Talkwards 