He was born in evil-hundred and two…
Category Archives: Humor
Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.
Let Snot Go There
“Let ‘snot go there,” he snorted.
Actor Name
A: Now that I’m in the movies I need you all to call me by my actor name.
B: Sure, I’m just not sure if your first name is Rock or Hard…
Medical Drama
A: “Looking over your resume I’m impressed.”
B: “Thanks.”
A: “Stage experience, some TV and even a movie, that’s nice. However…”
B: “Yes?”
A: “I don’t see any surgery experience.”
B: “Huh? Surgery?!”
A: “Yes, this is a medical drama after all…”
B: “Yeah, but… surgery?”
A: “We can’t have people cut into each other willy-nilly…”
B: “Haha, yeah, good one.”
A: “Hm. We do have some spots for patients though…”
B: “Eh, yeah, I’m not sure…”
A: “We’re shooting a scene right now… you could make a quick buck…”
B: “Touch me and I scream!”
A: “It won’t be many people around hearing that anyway…”
B: “I’ll call 911! I’ve got mace!”
A: “Ok! Ok! Listen… I usually don’t say this… but you and me…”
B: “Yes?”
A: “I don’t really see the chemistry…”
B: “I know, right? Like… poof nothing! Why is that? You know, like, some people… like… void…”
A: “Hm, yes. You know what… leave your contact information when you leave and we’ll see if we’ll get back to you…”
B: “Thank God! Yes! Bye!”
Thank God We’re not Pod-people
A: (ANY STATEMENT)
B: I disagree!
A: Thank God we’re not all pod-people.
Time estimate conundrum
When developers say a piece of work will take 2-4 hours what really happens is one of three things:
- It takes 2-4 hours to finish the job
- It takes 2-4 radians of hours (a.k.a hours times pi) to finish the job
- It takes 2-4 bitcoins to finish the job
Header image from Visualhunt
Marketing
Marketing:
“I’ll give you a $100 discount!”
“Wow, what will that give me?”
“A sandwich… with cheese… If you want ham it’s $200…”
“…”
Header image: by Maria Mastrafchieva on Visualhunt / CC BY-NC
Character Encoding
Character encoding-dong the document is dead!
Photo credit: James Abley on Visualhunt.com / CC BY-NC-ND
Filibuster Machine
I’m creating a filibuster machine. It consists of a printout of a life-size image of Amy Acker I had lying on my hard drive (no further comments!) and an mp3-player…
A Go Fuck yourself User Fucker Function
“…and the customer support section has a… quote-unquote user contact function… or as we like to call it in the business: a go fuck yourself user fucker function. Needless to say, you will not be disturbed by your customers…”
“Good, we have neither the time nor the personnel for that shit! They should just buy the products and be happy… and have no problems!”
Talkwards 