Your facts are opinions and we don’t like your opinions…
Category Archives: Humor
Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.
Giraffes don’t have fins
Why mankind is going to hell via internet:
A: This is a picture of a fish, it clearly have fins!
B: Giraffes don’t have fins!
A: It’s a picture of a fish!
B: What’s fishes got to do with anything?
A: They have fins.
B: Giraffes don’t.
A: We’re talking about fish.
B: Giraffes don’t have fins!
A: Right Giraffes don’t have fins.
B: See, I’m right…
A: Yes with regards to giraffes…
B: …fishes don’t have fins.
A: I give up.
B: I’m so cool! I’m so right! I’m so hot! I’m so bright! I’m so yeah oh yeah!
CI/CD
We’re implementing CI/CD in my current project… you know; Continuous Irritation / Continuous Disappointment…
Volatile AtomicInteger
Volatile AtomicIntegers… what could possibly go wrong?
Saying no to the whole concept of kidnapping
“Did you kidnap this girl?”
“No!”
“You didn’t even look at the picture!”
“I’m not saying no to the girl, I’m saying no to the whole concept of kidnapping!”
Paraphrased from “Magnum P.I. (2018)”
He says
A: I don’t know if he’s insisting, pontificating, or stipulating. Maybe I should use all three with slashes in between?
B: Did he use words?
A: Sure, but…
B: Then he “says.”
Evil-hundred and two
He was born in evil-hundred and two…
Let Snot Go There
“Let ‘snot go there,” he snorted.
Actor Name
A: Now that I’m in the movies I need you all to call me by my actor name.
B: Sure, I’m just not sure if your first name is Rock or Hard…
Medical Drama
A: “Looking over your resume I’m impressed.”
B: “Thanks.”
A: “Stage experience, some TV and even a movie, that’s nice. However…”
B: “Yes?”
A: “I don’t see any surgery experience.”
B: “Huh? Surgery?!”
A: “Yes, this is a medical drama after all…”
B: “Yeah, but… surgery?”
A: “We can’t have people cut into each other willy-nilly…”
B: “Haha, yeah, good one.”
A: “Hm. We do have some spots for patients though…”
B: “Eh, yeah, I’m not sure…”
A: “We’re shooting a scene right now… you could make a quick buck…”
B: “Touch me and I scream!”
A: “It won’t be many people around hearing that anyway…”
B: “I’ll call 911! I’ve got mace!”
A: “Ok! Ok! Listen… I usually don’t say this… but you and me…”
B: “Yes?”
A: “I don’t really see the chemistry…”
B: “I know, right? Like… poof nothing! Why is that? You know, like, some people… like… void…”
A: “Hm, yes. You know what… leave your contact information when you leave and we’ll see if we’ll get back to you…”
B: “Thank God! Yes! Bye!”
Talkwards 