I decided to spend my retirement in ancient Rome, but I made the huge mistake of bringing a tube of mayonnaise. Now everyone wants snake-shaped aioli and I have to shuttle back and forth between antiquity and modern times like some kind of damned time merchant! The only thing worse would be if they figured out I wasn’t from Atlantis, but the future. God only knows what kind of unrefusable offers they would force upon me then!
Monthly Archives: December 2020
Chipped
A: I’m not going to take the Covid vaccine!
B: Why?
A: I don’t want to get chipped by Bill Gates!
B: Do you have a smartphone?
A: Yeah, why?
B: Hahahahahahaha!
Something I Missed
Oh right! I was supposed to go to bed… eight hours ago… I knew there was something I missed!
About Vaccine and Autism
Should I vaccinate my kid, and if so why?
The short answer is “yes, you should definitely vaccinate your kid.”
But since you’re here I’m assuming maybe you’ve heard stories on the internet, maybe about a link between autism and vaccine, and it made you wonder if you really should risk it with your kid.
So, I am going to explore the notion that vaccines would cause autism, why it persists, why it’s wrong, and what causes autism instead. Finally, I’ll get back to this question to talk about why it’s vitally important that you DO vaccinate your kid.
Continue reading About Vaccine and AutismThe Den of Thieves, Grifters, and Con-artists
“I’m visiting the den of thieves, grifters, and con-artists! Wish me luck!”
“Didn’t you visit the tax authorities last week?”
“Didn’t you visit the tax authorities last week?”
Meteorologists catching up
Meteorologists are catching up with the rest of the world and realizing 2020 isn’t just a mess… it’s a hot mess…. in fact, probably the hottest mess ever.
As Long As we’re Allowed to Nag About Extremism…
“Do you have to keep nagging about extremism? Seriously, no one is saying they’re going to start concentration camps or anything!”
“Yeah, Hitler didn’t win the german election on a program of world war, holocaust and the total destruction of Germany… however, given that he ended up taking his life in a bunker, I’m going to say not even he knew the final result of his political agenda.”
“You’re talking about something that isn’t going to happen again!”
“With a little luck… at least not as long as we’re allowed to nag about the consequences of that kind of thinking…”
The Greater Good
People who speak of the greater good are usually those whose accomplishments in the area of great goodness are rather inadequate.
Children of God
Humanity: We’re the crown of God’s creation! We’re the children of God!
God: Eh… Right… I guess technically… Yeah, sure… you could say you’re my children… (Redheaded stepchildren…)
Humanity: Yay! We rock!
God: Sure, sure. Now go play civilization with the other sentient species… daddy is busy!
Humanity: WHAT!?!?! Waaaaaaahhhh!
God: Fiddlesticks!
Goddess: What did you do?!?
God: I told humanity about other sentient species…
Goddess sighs: We agreed to wait till they got older!
God: Sorry.
Goddess: My poor babies! Come to mama!
God: Eh… Right… I guess technically… Yeah, sure… you could say you’re my children… (Redheaded stepchildren…)
Humanity: Yay! We rock!
God: Sure, sure. Now go play civilization with the other sentient species… daddy is busy!
Humanity: WHAT!?!?! Waaaaaaahhhh!
God: Fiddlesticks!
Goddess: What did you do?!?
God: I told humanity about other sentient species…
Goddess sighs: We agreed to wait till they got older!
God: Sorry.
Goddess: My poor babies! Come to mama!
Romantic Feminism
“Feminism? Isn’t that the thing that killed romance?”
“It killed old-school romance… proudly!”
“It killed old-school romance… proudly!”
Talkwards 