A: I’m starting a drug empire to sell mouth water.
B: But mouth water isn’t a drug…
A: Well… I might sell other stuff as well, like diapers and bananas and I’ll use all the drug empire methods… part from all the killing, of course.
B: Right. A supermarket then?
Dear politicians, perhaps battling climate change feel like mission impossible… then consider that if you fail this mission, it’s likely your voters will have their own mission impossible in the very near future…
We have decided to take the climate to court for unprofessional conduct. If there was such a huge problem, why haven’t the climate said something before?
A: She seems indifferent, what’s up with that?
B: Maybe you should give her a daisical.
A: A what?
B: Yep, she lacks one.
A: Whaaat? Lacks a… Ha-ha… maybe I should PUN-ch your nose?
B: Chmy nose?
INT. EMERGENCY ROOM
So, Microsoft “Authenticator” seems to want me to authenticate about four times a day now.
I think someone in security should call Microsoft and tell them the cautionary tale of the seven doorstops.
It goes like this:
Once upon a time, there was a government agency that had a room that was so secure it could only be reached by passing seven doors that required seven different managers to come and open them with seven different keys.
Unfortunately, this room contained the fax machine, so it was a huge inconvenience because whenever someone wanted to send or receive fax they had to get the seven different managers with their seven keys to open the seven doors.
All this extra administration soon brought the government agency to the brink of collapse!
And then, a resourceful employee went out and bought seven doorstops…
So now, whenever I need to send or receive fax I know where to go…
That final twist is actually based on true (but unverified) events (rumors?)
Back in the day, I heard of someone that used to troll for unprotected WiFi nets… apparently, it happened that he found one in a convenience store (Pressbyrån) and would print something on their printer, walk into the store and tell them to fetch his printout.
The employee was usually so caught off guard/unaware they just went and got the papers.
Yeah, that’s a computer doing it in 0.38 seconds. (While it’s not stealing your jobb or plotting the end of mankind…) Oh, and yeah. If you’re not from the 70ies you probably don’t really know, or care much about Rubik’s cubes, I know 😛
I pressed ctrl-shit-x in Excel and then everything turned to crap…
A: Everyone is equal.
B: I know that.
A: I mean EVERYONE is equal.
B: Oh… you mean those guys over there as well? Ah… I guess they are as equal over there as we are over here… but I don’t see any reason for them to come over here and be equal.
Checksum validation failed, expected <html> but is aa163ea9976e95abbdfd985fd6fd239297c14ff3 from sonatype-nexus-snapshots for https://oss.sonatype.org/content/repositories/snapshots/com/google/guava/guava-parent/23.0-android-SNAPSHOT/maven-metadata.xml
Yeah, Maven, if you expect “<html>” as a checksum… I bet something very special is going on…
A: It’s bizarre… Like a dog walking on two legs…
A: …wearing a tuxedo and a monocle.
B: Yeah, that’s bizarre… tuxedo and monocle…