You know you’re in trouble when you find yourself wishing the DELETE-clause had a WITH STATS 10 setting…
Asides
Let’s not have a world war
Let’s not have a world war. I’ve heard it’s really not good for you. I mean, I don’t get all the details, but they say it’s a bad idea so I guess we’ll steer clear of it… Right?
From a completely different Universe
Sports commentator 1: He’s from a completely different universe when it comes to soccer.
Sports commentator 2: Yeah, and he’s made of energy and he eats gravitation.
Sports commentator 1: But he plays soccer like no one else.
The Nuclear Triad
What scares me most about nuclear non-proliferation is the nuclear triad. I mean, what idiot decided it was a good idea to give nukes to the mafia?
I Bet You Hate Puppies
“I bet you hate puppies.”
“I love puppies!”
“Yeah? Cooked or fried? Perhaps grilled?”
“I love puppies!”
“Yeah? Cooked or fried? Perhaps grilled?”
Unsolicited
A: Can I give you a little bit of unsolicited advice?
B: No.
A: You do understand the definition of unsolicited, right?
Bubble agent
Bath foam formula stolen by bubble agent.
Meme
1. Read “The Selfish Gene”
2. Totally misunderstand the ending
3. “Invent” the “meme”
Game-of-Thrones-Type of Management Style
I once had a boss who practiced a Game-of-Thrones-type of management style…
Back up
When it comes to data security, I don’t back down… I back up.
Talkwards 