While creating RPG player characters:
“In fact, I’m double-handed in reality, so for realism, I should get that one for free…”
“Sure, and for realism, you should also get minus 2 on strength and dexterity…”
“Um… let’s not create a character based on reality…?”
“Let’s not…”
Asides
Buy me a River
“Yeah! Yeah! Whatever, buy me a river!”
Anti-Vaccine
At the anti-vaccine movement annual conference:
A: Where’s Bob?
B: He’s dead…
A: And John?
B: Dead too.
A: And Rita is dead too… is anyone alive?
B: We are.
A: What happened to them?
B: They claim it was seasonal flu… I mean, come on? Flu?!
A: Yeah! What a transparent lie!
B: So, Chinese satellite death rays then?
A: For sure! Unless their bodies weren’t found… then we can be pretty sure it was an alien probing gone wrong…
Can I Touch Your Hair?
“Can I touch your hair? It’s just so unusual!”
“Can I touch your brain? It just did something so unusual!”
SFC SMF
I tried to write an SFC* but ended up with an SMF* and I don’t even know if it’s a failure or a success!
* SFC=Strong Female Character, SMF=Sexy Mother Fucker
Resignation
“I quit!” he said with resignation.
Spaceship
Spaceship:
“The Knock-Out”; Dreadnought of the Fearless class…
Zip it and Zip it
A: OMG! This XML-document is indented! It’s gonna take forever to send it!
B: Zip it and zip it!
@Test: Are you mocking me?
Total programmer nerd humor:
@Test: Are you mocking me?
Escaping Windows Folders
I’m trying to escape Windows folders, but I’m stuck!
Talkwards 