Rule 1: There are no truths, except for rule 1.
Asides
Choices
One choice eliminates endless possibilities, that’s why choosing is so scary. As much as we’d like to postpone choices in order to keep our options open, abstaining from choosing is also making a choice, it’s usually a choice to give up control.
Grown-up problem solving
“Let’s deal with this like grown-ups…”
“Yeah? What do you suggest? Start a war, a genocide, or something?”
The right thing
The right thing is not necessarily a good thing, sometimes it’s just the least bad alternative, and when you find yourself resorting to a lot of least bad alternatives you might want to stop and think about where your life is heading.
Windows was unable to connect to Internet
Windows was unable to connect to Internet… Do you wish to open the online troubleshooter?
Quack!
Hair Crash
– What’s up with your hairdo?
– I had a Hair Crash…
Mankind’s age-old questions
Mankind’s age-old questions:
- Does life exist on Mars?
- Are they intelligent or not?
- Are they republicans or democrats?
Global warming
– Nah, I don’t believe in global warming! I mean, since August the temperature has dropped like ten degrees… what are these people thinking?
Anti-Virus Faux Pas
Anti-Virus Faux Pas:
– Look how great we are at stopping viruses… we stopped these viruses long before our competitors, in fact even before they were released…. oh… I mean… eh….
*cough* *cough*
As I was saying….
Every Crook and Granny
I’ve lived here my whole life; I know every nook and cranny, every crook and granny…
Talkwards 