I have reached the pint of no return!
God save the Keg!
Title image by Bjørn Erik Pedersen – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link
Asides
Footware budget
Customer: So, when I got Windows I had no clue it would require a footwear budget…
Support: A what?!
Customer: Yeah, it says so here… it needs new shoes.
Support: I am fairly certain Windows does not require shoes…
Customer: In fact, you’re right… It asks for boots.
Support: OK. Can you read the message from Windows for me?
Customer: In order to finish this installation, please reboot.
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
Lawsuit
– You look snazzy! Where are you going?
– Jury duty… I have my lawsuit on…
– Eh, that’s not exactly the meaning…
Kinds of “kinds”
Dividing people into different kinds may seem like an exercise in meaninglessness, but it says a lot about the person trying to do the dividing. In particular the different kinds of “kinds” taken into consideration.
How big is your imagination?
– How big is your imagination?
– It’s Fanta-sized…
Fucking potatoes
– And I’d like a bloody stake…
– Do you want some fucking potatoes with that?
– Hmmm… actually… let’s do ordinary potatoes, and save the fucking for desert, OK?
Human problemsolving
Human problem solving:
- We use logic,
- however, if we can’t use logic, we use emotions,
- and, if we can’t use emotions, we use violence,
- and, if we can’t use violence, we convince ourselves violence is wrong… Which takes us back to step 1.
Cliff Hangar
– Where do we store the suspenseful scene endings?
– In the cliff hangar…
Cow-How
You need cow-how to succeed as a livestock farmer!
Talkwards 