I’ll never be woke! Hear me snore!
Certain politicians love for you to be asleep at the voting booth…
Asides
Sir Lance a lot
Sir Lance a lot was the first Free lancer.
And today his brethren will give you free programming, design, and copyediting, among other things.
Yeah, that was a joke and a total lie. “Free” in “Freelancer” does not mean what your think…
Header image by NeocoreGames – NeocoreGames, CC BY-SA 3.0, LinkAmazombie/Amazombified
Amazombie/Amazombified—Someone that buys everything from Amazon and never leaves their home… severe cases even try to make the delivery persons take out the trash…
Bear arms!
There is a huge difference between bear arms and beer arms, but according to the Second Amendment, Americans can have them both. They can also have bare arms! And if they run while doing it, it’s an arms race!
Header image original: wiki.godvillegame.com
Bat Side
A: Remind me never to get on your bat side.
B: It’s called the bad side.
A: Have you seen someone swinging a bat?
Calling 935 975 949 dollars
Hey Apple! I tried to call 935 975 949 dollars to ask them if they wanted to come and stay with me, but instead, this grumpy old guy answered. I have to turn my iPhone in for service, right? I marked the dollars in my Safari and it said I could call them using my iPhone… I want my dollars! You said I could call them! That was a lie!
Header image (pallets of bills, possibly millions, even billions): By Creator:Michael Marcovici – Own work, CC BY 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=12173330
Pseudo-secure crypto algorithm
OMG! At the party last night I dropped my beer on the keyboard, and out came a pseudo-secure crypto algorithm that can break any pseudo-secure crypto algorithm out there. I just withdrew all your money from the bank!
Ass Implemented
The system works as designed… it is also ass implemented…
Momster
Her mom was a real momster…
Bad choices
Making bad choices doesn’t have to mean you have poor judgment. It can also mean you’ve only got lousy alternatives…
Talkwards 
