“Snowflake!”
“Oh, great. You’re quoting Fight Club… It’s sad you didn’t get that movie. Its message is that people with your attitude are way extreme. There are many things in the movie that could have told you that, but the exploding skyscrapers in the end definitely should have.”
Asides
Unexpected consequences of falling asleep while listening to music
Unexpected consequences of falling asleep while listening to music:
Do you like Paula Abdul or that bad, bad blood?
Since I was, in fact, “sleep listening” to “Bad Blood” I have to assume I liked “that bad, bad blood” but since I was dreaming I can’t be sure…
A Bouquet to Die For
This bottle of red rum is a rellik. It’s a bouquet to die for!
Subconscious Unconscious
As a submariner I’m always subconscious at work… however, I also get a lot of help from my unconscious.
This isn’t how I remember it, it must have happened in a parallel universe…
This isn’t how I remember it. Obviously, I’m from a parallel universe where what I remember is true and now I’ve moved to this one where it isn’t. That must be it! Yay for me and my perfect memory!
Medicine without Science
Medicine without science is as stupid as drilling a hole in your head… which, of course is exactly what they did…
Power Corrupts and Attracts Corrupt People
Sometimes I wonder what is truer; that power corrupts or that power attracts corrupt people…
A Disgusting Person
“What did the polygraph said?”
“Either he’s lying, or he had to fart a lot.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah… The polygraph can tell us if they need to fart or if they are lying, but we haven’t figured out yet how to distinguish between the two…”
“Either way, he’s a disgusting person. Let’s lock him up.”
“Either he’s lying, or he had to fart a lot.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah… The polygraph can tell us if they need to fart or if they are lying, but we haven’t figured out yet how to distinguish between the two…”
“Either way, he’s a disgusting person. Let’s lock him up.”
Human Sacrifice
God: What? Human sacrifices? Again? Hmmm… Listen… just as long as you clean up after yourselves… I don’t want to slip on pools of blood. Ok? Good. Now, shoo!
Something I Missed
Oh right! I was supposed to go to bed… eight hours ago… I knew there was something I missed!
Talkwards 