Category Archives: Humor

Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.

One-Star Review

“Everybody in this book was failed people. They all had all these extreme problems, and whatever they tried to do, they failed over and over again. Except for the villain. He always managed to do what he wanted. Totally believable. NOT! All people in this story were dysfunctional incompetents and failed idiots! Steer clear!”
/Mary Sue

Unsuitable for Consulting

Customer: The system doesn’t handle virus infected files well.

Consultant: We’ll fix it with a virus cleaning add-on.

Customer: You mean antivirus?

Consultant: Nah, we’ll remove the viruses!

Customer: Oh… what’s the estimate for that?

Consultant: I’ll obviously pick an open source antivirus program and add a few lines, it won’t take long.

Customer: Let me get back to you…

Trump is a “Tölp”

Trump is what we in Sweden call a “Tölp”. So are most members of his … regime.

“Tölp” translates to: fool, oaf, dolt, boor, jerk, boob, lout, idiot, chump, klutz, twit, clod, clown, booby, bumpkin, slob, blunderer, clot.

Words in bold are from a printed dictionary. It also adds yokel and clodhopper…

Maybe each “prominent” member of the regime can get their very own word… though I fear most words will have to be shared among several people because, boy, “Tölparna” (Tölp plural definitive) are coming out of the wood works…

Want to know how “tölp” is pronounced? Here you go:

Truth 2025

Here’s a 2025 MAGA-rebranding of the classical WTF “What Is Truth?

enum MAGAReply {
  Yes,
  No,
  DonaldTrump
};

I mean, that’s pretty much how it goes:

Q: How are we going to fix the jobs numbers?
A: Donald Trump!

Q: What are we going to do about all the problems?
A: Donald Trump!

Q: Where did the other sock go?
A: Donald Trump!

Ok, the last one is likely not going to come from MAGA, but who knows…

Fear the umlaut

Many years ago, I was working in a project with two programmers from London. These guys, being monolingual, were of the firm conviction that your verbal proficiency indicated competence, intelligence and ability to deal with… well language.

They called my attempts at English “Yoda English” so when the time came to add texts to the app we were building one of the Brits were put on the task.

The customer was not happy.

See, the language in question was not English but Swedish and having someone that didn’t understand a single word of Swedish do the language management produced one of my favorite misspellings of a Swedish word.

The guy had entered “gödkanna” where he should have entered “godkänna”.

Godkänna means “approve” or “confirm”.

Gödkanna doesn’t really exist in a dictionary, but it is a grammatically correct word since it’s possible to construct compound words in many different ways in Swedish (yes every writing app programmer on planet Earth, you heard me right! If you want to create a list of all possible Swedish words aspell-style, it’ll probably be a pretty long list—like listing all possible positive integers…—the local dictionary on my Mac currently contains a whopping 3404 “unknown” Swedish words… 😐)

Anyway, “gödkanna” is a compound of “göd” here used as a prefix relating to “göda” meaning fertilize and “kanna” meaning can/pitcher.

Fertilizer can.

A can of shit?

(As a parenthesis; at this writing, Google Translate suggests “manure can” as a translation of “gödkanna”…)

The customer being in Telecom, it is correct to assume they did not want to pay for a can of manure…