Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.
At the anti-vaccine movement annual conference:
A: Where’s Bob?
B: He’s dead…
A: And John?
B: Dead too.
A: And Rita is dead too… is anyone alive?
B: We are.
A: What happened to them?
B: They claim it was seasonal flu… I mean, come on? Flu?!
A: Yeah! What a transparent lie!
B: So, Chinese satellite death rays then?
A: For sure! Unless their bodies weren’t found… then we can be pretty sure it was an alien probing gone wrong…
“I looked over the exhaustion management plan, and I have a few questions. For instance, on page two, you recommend EKGs and CAT scans for all patients?”
“Yes, and on page three, we also recommend giving all patients chemotherapy.”
“Yeah… why don’t we just give the patients that need it EKGs and CAT scans and all the rest?”
“You’ve probably not read through the assumptions on page one. There you can see we assume we have forgotten, don’t care, or have been unable to determine any diagnosis for the patients… so this is a kind of catch-all solution…”
“Oh. That explains the full-body casts… “
I tried to write an SFC* but ended up with an SMF* and I don’t even know if it’s a failure or a success!
* SFC=Strong Female Character, SMF=Sexy Mother Fucker
“I quit!” he said with resignation.
Spaceship:
“The Knock-Out”; Dreadnought of the Fearless class…
A: OMG! This XML-document is indented! It’s gonna take forever to send it!
B: Zip it and zip it!
Total programmer nerd humor:
@Test: Are you mocking me?
I’m trying to escape Windows folders, but I’m stuck!
You know you’re in trouble when you find yourself wishing the DELETE-clause had a WITH STATS 10 setting…
Let’s not have a world war. I’ve heard it’s really not good for you. I mean, I don’t get all the details, but they say it’s a bad idea so I guess we’ll steer clear of it… Right?
Talkwards 