Category Archives: Humor

Well fun stuff (I hope), programming humor, word puns, etc.

Different

90% of people: It’s OK that you’re not exactly like me. I’m sure we can make this work anyway.

The other 10%: We can’t accommodate people being different. How do you think the world would look if we allowed everybody to be different? Get in line and adapt! … You can do it!

Hallucinators

Alien overlord: So, about this…?
Assistant: Helios… or Sol. It has many names.
Overlord: Right, was it the fifth planet?
Assistant: The third.
Overlord: Ok. And they’re called hallucinators?
Assistant: It seems a fitting term. They hallucinate when they dream, when they interact with many types of written language, when they watch, so called, visual narratives not to mention when they think about their future. It’s hard to tell when they don’t hallucinate.
Overlord: Right. So the recommendation?
Assistant: We steer clear of these crazies. We cannot have these beasts roaming the galaxy. We might even consider putting up a fence…

One-Star Review

“Everybody in this book was failed people. They all had all these extreme problems, and whatever they tried to do, they failed over and over again. Except for the villain. He always managed to do what he wanted. Totally believable. NOT! All people in this story were dysfunctional incompetents and failed idiots! Steer clear!”
/Mary Sue

Unsuitable for Consulting

Customer: The system doesn’t handle virus infected files well.

Consultant: We’ll fix it with a virus cleaning add-on.

Customer: You mean antivirus?

Consultant: Nah, we’ll remove the viruses!

Customer: Oh… what’s the estimate for that?

Consultant: I’ll obviously pick an open source antivirus program and add a few lines, it won’t take long.

Customer: Let me get back to you…

Trump is a “Tölp”

Trump is what we in Sweden call a “Tölp”. So are most members of his … regime.

“Tölp” translates to: fool, oaf, dolt, boor, jerk, boob, lout, idiot, chump, klutz, twit, clod, clown, booby, bumpkin, slob, blunderer, clot.

Words in bold are from a printed dictionary. It also adds yokel and clodhopper…

Maybe each “prominent” member of the regime can get their very own word… though I fear most words will have to be shared among several people because, boy, “Tölparna” (Tölp plural definitive) are coming out of the wood works…

Want to know how “tölp” is pronounced? Here you go: