On bad Google Days, I come across these answers to my very urgent problem X:

Original Poster: I have problem X! Help!

The Unhelpful Guesser: Have you tried [unrelated solution].

Cosufferer: I have the same problem! Please let me know how this goes!

The Problem Specifier: Can you specify under what circumstances X occurs?

Original Poster: I get X when I Y with Z.

Second Cosufferer (quotes Cosufferer): +1 need to know this too!

The Log Meister: Can you post the contents of [list of log file paths].

Third Cosufferer: I am very interested in the solution to this problem!

Original Poster posts the logs but Log Meister is never heard of again.

The Reset Rebooter: Have you tried rebooting? Reinstalling? Upgrading?

Original Poster: @The Reset Rebooter: all of them to no avail…

Fourth Cosufferer: How is this going?

Original Poster (a month later): Anyone? Help!

Original Poster: I have solved the problem! Thanks for all the help!

Me: ?!?!