Batman vs Superman in 69 words or less

Superman: I have a kilty smother!

Batman: Why? You! *Growl*

2 hours of Crash! Bang! Bom! KA-POOOW! Ouch! F*ck! Grrrowl!

Batman: Sorry! I thought you said, “I have killed his mother!”

Superman: My mother’s name is Martha…

Batman: Cool! Mine too!

Superman: Well, Errr…. my adoptive mother…

Batman: Grrrrowl!

Superman: But hey, let’s hang?

Batman: Ummm… OK!

Martha: Dinneeeee-eeeeer time!

Superman: Mom’s calling…

Batman: That’s my mom!

Superman: It’s not!

Batman: Is too!

Or, as the NerdNewsNetwork pointed out… why is this movie longer than 5 seconds (and why is the script longer than 69 words?):

Talkwards