“People may think hair pulling is lame, but when we do it, it results in bloodshed and black eyes…”
“Yeah, if you use your feet for leverage…”
Medicine without science is as stupid as drilling a hole in your head… which, of course is exactly what they did…
“Either he’s lying, or he had to fart a lot.”
“Yeah… The polygraph can tell us if they need to fart or if they are lying, but we haven’t figured out yet how to distinguish between the two…”
“Either way, he’s a disgusting person. Let’s lock him up.”
I decided to spend my retirement in ancient Rome, but I made the huge mistake of bringing a tube of mayonnaise. Now everyone wants snake-shaped aioli and I have to shuttle back and forth between antiquity and modern times like some kind of damned time merchant! The only thing worse would be if they figured out I wasn’t from Atlantis, but the future. God only knows what kind of unrefusable offers they would force upon me then!
A: I’m not going to take the Covid vaccine!
A: I don’t want to get chipped by Bill Gates!
B: Do you have a smartphone?
A: Yeah, why?