In an anti-abortion state, a man spits on the floor. A cleaner cleans it up using bleach and gets sentenced to 6 months for Crimes Against DNA. State Supreme Court Justice Handelson Blurb explains, “the DNA in spit is viable for at least 6 hours, so destroying it before that time has passed is defined by state law as a Crime Against DNA.”

The Justice then gets excited, “we’re just now examining the feasibility of DNA in excrement, and my hope is that we’ll have an anti-flush law in place before the end of this year. We were put on this green earth to Safeguard All of God’s Creation. DNA is no exception!”