Debate 2036

I’ve picked out my crystal ball and had a peek into the future of presidential debating. Here’s one from 2036…

Anchor: And that concludes the first presidential debate. Jim, what are your comments?

Jim: Well, there are three things I’d like to comment on. First the education reform. This has for a long time been a sore subject for Senator G’s campaign, but tonight we’ve seen some very firm language…

Anchor: Yes, he took a very strong stance.

Jim: Indeed. I’ve never seen him hit his chest that hard before.

Anchor: Or roared that loud…

Jim: Exactly. I think it’s obvious this will be one of the more important areas he will focus on going forward. Also the medical spending…

Anchor: That was ugly.

Jim: Yes, it’s a sad thing to see, but I think we all know in these kinds of debates it will, and have several times before happened, and it is indeed an ugly thing when any of the candidates start throwing feces. However, I can’t recall I’ve ever seen both candidates and the moderator do it at the same time. The usual sequence of things is that one candidate shits themselves and then starts throwing it around the room, and then, later in the debate the other one does the same. It’s only been twice, as far as I can recall the moderator has done it as well, and never at the same time as the candidates.

Anchor: An ugly record indeed.

Jim: Indeed. This is definitely going to be one of the more ugly confrontations in the campaigning. And the third thing I wanted to touch upon was military spending.

Anchor: I think we can all say it was good some changes were made to the venue ahead of this debate.

Jim: Yes. The electric fence really was a lifesaver here. I do not want to imagine what might have happened without it. I think military spending will be a very strong focus area in both campaigns and we’ll probably see, if possible, more severe confrontations over it in the coming debates.

Anchor: And there you have it; the first presidential debate of 2036.

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